If the Goddess Can Bleed, Why Can't I?

I woke up in dismay. My nightwear was soggy. The bed sheet was soaked red. I made it to the washroom hastily to clean up. My sleep was disturbed. The mood was spoilt. Irritated, I prepared tea and started my day early. Ma had woken up by then.

Outside the sky had darkened. The soft cumulus clouds had changed color. They had thickened and had grown darker. Soon, the thunder roared and rain lashed down. My mother ran out from her bedroom exclaiming, “Borsha eshey geche, borsha eshey geche.” (Monsoon has arrived).  She stood outside, stretching her hands out. Her face was dotted with the drops…her damp sari clung to her frail body but the happiness on her face was unmatched. I sat holding my cup guiltily wondering why couldn’t I rejoice! 

Ma shouted out to me. The lightning crackled. “Come here…get wet. The first of the showers is the best…best for your body. Come and get wet. Don’t think twice. ” 

“But Ma. I am down. My periods have started.”  

“So what? Why should that stop you…let your body soak in the first shower….Come…come here…join me.”

I held her hand and stepped in the midst of the shower; our face turned towards the sky. The drops fell on me one after the other. A tiny shiver ran down my spine as I felt the drops coursing down my body. The anxiety about periods and the pad I was wearing was forgotten. Who cares! 

Changing into dry clothes, we sat down once again sipping chai. That’s when Ma told me a story.

“It’s not just you who bleeds, my dear girl. Every woman bleeds. Even Mother Earth. Even the Goddesses! Let me tell you about the Bleeding Goddess!”

“Bleeding Goddess? What? Are you serious?”

“Yes yes..We do have a Goddess who bleeds.”

“Do we worship her?”

“Oh yes we do. She is one of the most powerful deities.” 

And she told me the story. 

The Story

Lord Shiva got married to Sati, the daughter of King Daksha against his wishes. The King did not take a liking to his new son-in-law. What kind of a man had his daughter married? Someone who smoked ganja, was semi-clad, ashes smeared all over his body, kept a snake for company, had no riches and roamed around in wild places? How would he keep his princess happy! He would never forgive his daughter for her poor choice. But Sati and Shiva were a happy couple. Both of them were aware of the King’s displeasure. They were never invited home or to the events organized by him.

When the king organized an elaborate Yajna, he did not invite his daughter and son-in-law. Sati was yearning for her family. She tried to persuade Shiva to attend the ceremony but he refused. Finally he relented. Sati arrived at her father’s palace where Daksha insulted her badly. Overcome with rage, she immolated herself. When Shiva heard about her demise, he arrived there, beheaded the king and destroyed the Yajna. Putting the body of his beloved on his shoulders he began his tandava . The world shook and begged for mercy. But the grief stricken Shiva paid no heed to it.  All the Gods and Goddesses approached Lord Vishnu for help. Shiva had to be stopped or they would all be destroyed. Vishnu sent his Sudarshan Chakra. It cut Sati’s body into 51 pieces, distributing them into 51 locations. These locations, where Sati’s body fell became the 51 Shakti Peeth or the centre of immense energy/Shakti. 

They say that Sati’s Yoni/vagina fell in the Nilachal hills of Guwahati, Assam.  The site came to be worshipped and gained immense popularity. Every year, when the monsoons arrive, they say that the reigning deity of the temple, Goddess Kamakhya bleeds. The temple is shut for four days. No one is allowed inside. No worship happens. The Goddess is allowed privacy and to rest her body as she prepares herself for the next chapter. The temple is reopened after four days and she is worshipped with great fanfare. The loin cloth by then has turned red. The devotees break into exultant cries informing everyone about the Devi’s yearly menstrual cycle.  A piece of the red cloth is a possession and treasured by one and all. This phenomenon happens on the seventh day of the month Ashad, the month of monsoon in the lunar calendar. Known as Ambubachi, there is also a scientific reason. As soon as monsoon sets in, the water from the natural spring in the temple mixes with the red Hematorite in the soil turning the Devi’s cloth red. Worshipping and getting a Darshan of the menstruating goddess is a privilege.  

That morning my mother told me that I should be proud of my periods. Like me the Goddess bleeds. Like her even our Mother Earth bleeds. Yes this is also the time when the earth is swollen. The advent of the monsoon is symbolic. All kind of agricultural activities are stopped allowing the earth to rest and replenish herself.  No ploughing. No sowing. Everything comes to a standstill till she gets to rest it out. After this she is deemed to fit for cultivation. It’s almost like a woman who is shedding her uterine lining and getting ready to conceive and deliver.  

That day my mother left me with an important message. 

Menstruation is a natural process and should not be looked down upon. We women should talk openly about it. There is no taboo. If the Goddess can bleed then why can’t we? This question by my mother has remained with me. And yes she has always given us the freedom to rest it out. Those five days, when we bleed and suffer from the cramps, it’s absolutely fine to demand the much-needed rest for our body. Don’t buy your napkins in shame. No need to hide them. Proudly declare, Yes, we bleed! We bleed with pride! 

Note: June 22 was Ambubachi in Assam. Few days back, Orissa celebrated Raja Parba, a similar festival.  

(First published on Momspresso)